


Knock Knock

by InfinityIllusion



Category: Bleach, His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Banter, Dimension Travel, Gen, I currently am unable to write anything that approaches seriousness, M/M, Pre-Slash, The Subtle Knife, does not work this way but it does for this fic, low key pining, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 12:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18916903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityIllusion/pseuds/InfinityIllusion
Summary: Kisuke's lab is subjected to the phenomenon known as dimension travel, when a man appears in the middle of his experiment and asks for a minute of his time.UraIchi week 2019: Day 2 Different First Meetings





	Knock Knock

**Author's Note:**

> So this is...not what I meant to write for today. But it is what's finished and it kinda fits? Kisuke meets dimension traveler!Ichigo before the Ichigo of his dimension so.......
> 
> Also, this Ichigo's backstory is slightly different from canon. I am aware of this. This is jus what my muse decided to write so we're going with it.

* * *

Kisuke is trying to figure out the final method of ensuring that a false body won’t reject a soul after it’s occupied after a few hours, when the wall of his workshop suddenly isn’t there when he sees a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye. Instead, he sees the howling winds of what might be Heuco Mundo, if the sand was a shining red-gold and the sky was an ever-changing kaleidoscope of a headache.

And then it’s closed and a man is sitting there, lightly panting and slumped back against the wall that’s returned to existence, and Benihime’s blade is at the throat of this impossible version of Shiba Kaien.  And impossible version with a beat up backpack, worn jeans and jacket – not a shihakusho and hakama –  and a knife tied to his hand with a bloody rag.

“Hey, Kisuke.  You got a minute?”

“Who are you?”

“Kurosaki Ichigo.”

Kisuke knows one person by that name, and he is a child, barely more than a year old, but then, there is clearly something else at work, considering what Kisuke could see of the background before the man fled here, to his lab – or some version of him – to call him “Kisuke” and to be utterly unruffled by Benihime’s presence at his throat.

“Why?”

“Well,” Kurosaki grimaces, and his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, “there might be a couple of cross- and inter-dimensional Hollows on my tail, and I might have a talent at pissing off the C46 every time I end up in a world that has them, so I’d really rather avoid Seireitei.”

“You’ve brought, or will bring, Hollows hunting you to my lab and you want to talk for a minute?”  Kisuke asks, incredulity hidden by his beloved hat.

“Think of them as a present.”

“For?”

“For taking a minute to hear about a bunch of different dimensions and timelines and how things can go really, really wrong.”

“I think I benefit more than you do from this arrangement.”  And, frankly, Kisuke would do that without a bribe.  Although, considering how causally Kurosaki uses his first name….

Kurosaki grins, and apparently he is or was bleeding recently given the trace amounts of blood on his teeth.  “Nope, because I’m probably going to get food and shelter out of you.  And hopefully explanations about this knife and the Hollows, eventually.”

Screams tear the air before Kisuke can reply.  Well, at least his presents are timely.

~IiI~

What Kurosaki failed to state, was that these are not normal Hollows.  Well, Kisuke reprimands himself as he ducks a spectral hand, and decapitates the Hollow, he did say they were cross-dimensional, which normal Hollows technically are, although they certainly are not inter-dimensional, as far as Kisuke has ever been able to find. The closest is that amalgamation of lost souls and memories, and this might not be the time to postulate.

“Kisuke, now isn’t the time to poke them!”

“Maa, maa, Kurosaki!  Seeing as there is one left and you’re doing an admirable job holding it off, now is a perfect time for notes!” Kisuke replies in a gratingly cheerful voice.

“You suck!”  Kurosaki yells in reply, as he continues dodging the various swipes with which the possibly-not-actually-a-Hollow tries to catch him.  “I said you could have them as presents, not use me to study them!”

“You never said I couldn’t!”

“GAH!”

Ah, nice to see that Kurosaki has subdued the last creature, even with a knife.

“And now, if you don’t mind helping me take them back inside the shop?”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a minute,” Kurosaki calls, bent double and panting even harder.  Hmm.  Kisuke revises his initial note about possible former bleeding and corrects it to, definitely bleeding.  Although, it can’t be all that bad since Kurosaki managed himself in the fight well enough and hasn’t collapsed yet.

Which is just the thought to cue Kurosaki collapsing.  Wonderful, now Kisuke might get a few samples to figure out just who he is, or what he’s made of.

~IiI~

“Really, Kurosaki.  Bring me presents does somewhat imply that you need to be conscious to get you end of the bargain fulfilled.”

The body currently occupying the medical table gives a groan and a mumbled, “fuck off.”

“Well, you can lie there while I get to work, or you could get the minute of my time you’re looking for and be on your way.”

“Gimme a minute.”

Kisuke hums in reply. He has wards embedded underneath that table, and any more time Kurosaki takes up is more time for his machines to process the samples he took – from both Kurosaki and the not-Hollows.

“Alright, I’m from a dimension somewhat close to this one.  You taught me to fight, and helped me with my Shinigami powers, and I went on to fight and defeat Aizen in his weird fortress in Heuco Mundo, though the asshole somehow managed to retain the Hyogoku.  Don’t worry, it went dormant or you sealed it or something, so even though he still had it, it wasn’t doing anything

“And?”

His new guest sighs.  “And I lost my powers using the Final Getsuga Tensho – which, really, really sucks, hopefully your Ichigo won’t have to use it, because I wouldn’t wish it on Aizen.”

Kurosaki pauses, frown deepening, before he corrects himself, “Actually, no, I probably would if the circumstances were different, but they weren’t.

“Anyways, then I was wandering around depressed as fuck because a good chunk of my soul was gone, and then some asshole attacked me in an alley.  I turned the knife on him, lost two fingers,” this is accompanied by a hand wave showing off the two missing flanges that Kisuke had noticed when treating him, “and suddenly became the owner of this thing.”  He took the opportunity to wave the knife that he’d retained even unconscious, though the binding likely helped.

“Turns out it can cut through and into dimensions, but the portals have to be manually closed, which is inconvenient because the knife make you Hollow bait, even beyond being normal Hollow bait.  I’ve been running around since.”

“In your human body?”

Kurosaki rolls his eyes, “No, in the spare gigai you had in the back storage room.  Yes, in my human body.”

Kisuke quirks an eyebrow at the other man.  “So the knife essentially makes you a dimension-tearing Quincy, since that knife doesn’t feel like a Zanpakutou, but does allow you to kill the Hollows that are drawn to the knife.”

Kurosaki shrugs.  “I guess that works, yeah.  Although, those things are harder to kill than your average Hollow, and they can actually sort-of work together.  Occasionally, one or two of them pop up that act like Dementors, depending on the world.”

“Dementors?”

“Seriously, you haven’t read Harry Potter?  It would give you so many ideas.  Like a time turner,” Kurosaki pauses, then shakes his head, which causes him to wince. “Never mind, not time turners. How about the Goblet of Fire?  Use it to pick who has to fight Kenpachi, or do the dishes.  Or those communication mirrors, or the Marauder’s Map.”

“It’s a novel?”

“Yeah, a series for kids, though a fair number of adults like it.  It’s got a lot of magic, but you can substitute that with science.”

“I’ll have to mention it to Ururu and Jinta.”

Kurosaki squints, at Kisuke – it’s probably the blood loss and dehydration catching up with the man – before he asks, “who?”

“Jinta and Ururu, they live and work here.”

Kurosaki blinks before he mutters, “You have apprentices?  I’m chalking that up to dimensional differences,” and promptly falls asleep.

Kisuke’s pretty sure it’s actually closer to passing out, but he’ll give his guest the benefit of the doubt, considering his parents.  If his parents were anything like their versions in this dimension.

More time to see what the sample results are!  Although, maybe he should set up his new guest with an IV.  Tessai-san would probably say yes, and killing Kurosaki when he brought him new things to study is poor repayment.  Kurosaki also happens to be quite entertaining, and people being relaxed in Kisuke’s presence is…unusual (and it isn’t as if the man is hard to look at, implications of what might occur in this timeline aside).

~IiI~

“For the record, I really thought they were your apprentices, not your kids,” is how Kurosaki announces himself the first time he ventures out of Kisuke’s lab.  Certainly, he has a very distinctive hair color, but few people come to the back of the shop, and none of them will know of any Kurosaki Ichigo’s for a number of years yet (if Kisuke has anything to say about it).

“Ah, good morning, Kurosaki-san.  They’re not my children.”

Kurosaki replies with a droll, “good morning,” and a face that says he believes Kisuke is selling him bullshit and he isn’t buying it.

“Good morning, Tencho, Kurosaki-san,” Tessai calls from the stove.  “Breakfast will be ready shortly.”

“Thank you, Tessai-san,” Kisuke replies, and goes to collect the children, while Kurosaki shuffles to help set the table.

Breakfast is interesting, Jinta constantly wanting to challenge Kurosaki, while Ururu seems to have decided that Kurosaki isn’t going to eat her, and is quietly attempting to chatter his ear off when he asks about her hobbies in between and around Jinta’s demands for a spar.

“Sorry, Jinta-kun, I’ve got to head out after breakfast.  It was nice to meet you, though.”

“No, you can’t leave yet!”

“But, Kurosaki-san….”

“Sorry Ururu-chan, I’ve got to go see if there are any other random portals and figure out what the heck is up with this knife.”

“But you’ll come back,” Ururu says, with a surety that’s usually lacking around her.  “You’ll come back and we’ll play baseball and I’ll show you how far I can hit the ball.”

“And spar with me, you coward!”

Kurosaki laughs, but agrees.

~IiI~

“Isn’t it proper manners to give your host notice before you leave, Kurosaki?”

Kurosaki looks up from re-packing his bag.  “I didn’t bargain for more than a minute of your time, Kisuke, and I know I’ve spent far more of it than that.”

“Maa, maa, Kurosaki.  You’re interesting enough on your own to make up for it!” Kisuke replies from behind his fan.

He receives a snort in reply.

“What should I bring back when I come to play with your kids?”

“Not my kids,” Kisuke denies mildly, “but if you end up with some small pieces of equipment from another dimension and an idea of when they’re used, I would be more than pleased.  And if you happen to come across some new games for the kids, I’m sure they’d adore you for it.”

“Alright,” Kurosaki laughs, “small equipment and games.  Tessai-san still love tea?”

“That he does.”

They let silence settle over them for a few minutes as Kurosaki finalizes his packing, before he shoulders it and heads to the doorway, where Kisuke is leaning against the frame.

“Hey, Kisuke…” Kurosaki trails off.

“Do come back safely, Kurosaki.  I want to hear about the new dimensions you encounter, and if you find any more of those not-Hollows.”

“Specters?”

Kisuke hums, “I suppose that name would work, at least until I’m finished analyzing them and can definitively say what their composition is, and whether or not they’re related to regular Hollows.”

“I look forward to hearing about it,” Kurosaki says with a smile.

Kisuke…knows that smile, that “have loved and lost,” but this smile is on a man who travels dimensions and who Kisuke has just met (and who’s powers were stripped, indirectly, by a version of him, and Kisuke can’t say he wouldn’t do the same thing to this dimension’s Ichigo, and, and, and).

Kurosaki clears his throat and looks away, and Kisuke can’t say he’s not a little disappointed.  He wouldn’t have kissed Kurosaki, but he might not have pushed him away, if Kurosaki had kissed him.

“I’ll make you a denreishinki,” he says instead.  Which is not something that he was going to offer, but apparently now he is.

“Will one work between non-layered dimensions?”

Kisuke smirks, “Kurosaki, are you doubting me?”

The dimension traveler snorts, “Nope, I just wanted to see if there was any work done already.”

“Now, now, that’d be telling!”

“Sure, Kisuke.  I’ll see you around.”

The new place Kurosaki cuts to is a lush forest of dark skies and a bubbling brook, and Kisuke is feeling like he should’ve asked if he could collect samples from the next place Kurosaki went, instead of equipment, but that’s something to keep in mind for next time.

(Additionally, Kisuke considers, Aizen would likely never find the Hyogoku if it was being taken on a merry trip through a number of dimensions.  Perhaps the knife could do with some adornment.)

. 

. 

. 

. 

.

Bonus:

Kurosaki – Ichigo – returns a number of times, and eventually surrenders his knife to Kisuke’s study, and eventual tampering.

They both get confirmation that the Hogyoku is really a wishing stone when Ichigo wishes he was home one night and was suddenly, unceremoniously, deposited on top of Kisuke. Subsequent Hogyoku-powered trips back to the Urahara Shouten (or, more accurately, to Kisuke) require Ichigo to chant, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”

Ichigo regrets watching the Wizard of Oz in theaters in that one dimension where it’s just come out and everyone is aware of (their version of) the supernatural.  But it makes the stone happy, and Kisuke only teases him a little once he gets the story out.  Ururu thinks it’s cute.  Jinta would really appreciate it if the sap was kept _away_ from him, though he does appreciate having his sparring partner back more often as a result.  Tessai smiles in the background, internally crying tears of happiness.

(Yoruichi wanders in years later, finally catching the dimension traveling Kurosaki when he falls on top of Kisuke, yet again, from a different dimension.  She cackles.)

* * *

Kudos and comments welcome!

~Fins

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, Ichigo was actually supposed to have his powers back, just so Shiro and Ossan could mock him for accidentally acquiring yet another power and yet another stabby. Alas.


End file.
